Sunday, September 11, 2011

A Sad Day For America

TracFones

This is a Sponsored post written by me on behalf of TracFone for SocialSpark. All opinions are 100% mine.
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Saturday, September 10, 2011

Classmate?


HAVE YOU EVER BEEN  GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING,  SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.

WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.

MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW
DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED                        TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.

COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I                          QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.

THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

 
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .

'YES. YES, I DID.. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

 
WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.

 
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'

 
YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSLY    

THEN, THAT UGLY, OLD,
BALD, WRINKLED FACED,       
FAT-ASSED,
GRAY-HAIRED, DECREPIT
SON-OF-A-BITCH ASKED,
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?????                    


Thursday, September 1, 2011

Are You Fat?

 We all tell ourselves that we're just a little over weight.  We actually know that we are at the point of no return, without help.  Those body builders make us look sick with the way they are so buff.  It took a lot of work and effort to get those bodies in that condition.  They also used good quality  fat burners   to help keep the lean meat from being lost.  It takes a good training period and plenty of workouts to do the trick no matter what you use to help the process.

Job ?

A guy goes to the post office to apply for a job.

The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?"

He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee."

"Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?"

"Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour."

The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?"

The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles."

The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM.


   You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at 10:00 am every day."

The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until 10:00 am?"

"This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

Sports Awards

We all know how  great a little one feels when they get their first award.  It makes them feel like they have accomplished the best thing ever.  Even in offices a trophy can make an employee feel appreciated.  The football, basketball and base ball player's are just part of the vast sports world which awards  sport trophies   to their players.  Finding quality products are always a must, so click on the above link to shop for your trophies.

Indians don't use saddles......


A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona
when her car broke down.
An American Indian on horseback came along
and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off.
The ride was uneventful,
except that every few minutes the Indian would let out
a "Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a" so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills.
When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station,
yelled one final "Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!" and rode off.
"What did you do to get that Indian so excited?"
asked the service-station attendant.
"Nothing," the woman answered.
"I merely sat behind him on the horse,
put my arms around his waist,
held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn't fall off.
"Lady," the attendant said,
"Indians don't use saddles."