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Friday, May 27, 2011

Office Meetings

I know you've been in office meetings should you be an executive or office personnel.  It's one of those times, you mostly hate, because the time spent having the boring meeting could be used for productive work.  The MegaMeeting Webinar Software  that is being used today, can get many groups involved in one meeting.  You can make a more productive situation come to life by using this software.  I suggest clicking on the above link and viewing the possibilities this software can establish.

Some Quotes

How's things going ?   "Oh, one down and ten to go! "


You win some, loose some and some you just get rained out!  Most of the time I just get rained out!

How are you doing?  "Oh, nothing a million dollars wouldn't help!"     I know that's right!

They say "home is where the heart is."  "Hell, you've gotta have a heart first!"


Barcode

There are more electronic gadgets today than ever before.  They are constantly upgrading items in hope of making life somewhat easier.  Now they offer the stores a cordless barcode scanner  that is much easier to use than the one attached to a cord and the register.  These useful gadgets are available in different designs and can be obtained from a company that specializes in this type of equipment.  Click on the above link for more information.

Chicken Sandwiches

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends. Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn't a chicken sandwich. 
He said, "Hey, how come you're not eating chicken, don't you like it anymore?"
She said "I love it but I have to stop eating it."  "Why?" he asked.
She pointed to her lap and said "Cause I'm starting to grow little feathers down there!" 
"Let me see" he said.  "Okay" and she showed him.  He looked and said, "That's right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken."
He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.  He said to the little girl, "I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I'm starting to get feathers down there too!" She asked if she could look, so he showed her!
She said, "Oh, my God, it's too late for you! You've already got the NECK and GIZZARDS!!"

Backyard Fun

How much fun can you have while sitting out in the back yard while your fire pit  is smoldering?  I love the smell of smoke and enjoy sitting outside with a good fire going.  That's just the "country girl" in me and something I really relish.  If you have a partner to enjoy this time with you, then your all set for a comfy time.  For more information about fire pits, and prices, click on the above link and shop.

Car For Sale

I realize that you can't tell much about this car, but I'm putting it up for sale.  It's a 1998 Dodge Stratus, 4 door, that would be a car to drive to work.  It's got new tires and is good on gas, which is something everyone looks for these days.  Since it's had lots of driving in the last few years, I'm offering it at the low price of $600. which is good for this vehicle.  This car will be sold strictly as is.

Office Procedures

I will never be able to understand all the crap that different state, city, county and government offices dish out.  All the legal terms start jumping out at you and your standing there wondering if you doing something wrong?  You can only do this or you can't do that because of this........Man, I give up when it comes to all the legal gibberish.  Some of the crap can be left in the trash can with lots of other stuff that was voted out long ago.

Diet Pills

This is a fat burner that has plenty of hype and for some I believe it works well.  I've read pros and cons on this product, so if you buy apidexin  make sure you get all the details about the way it works.  I believe that with exercise and a good diet, anyone can loose weight.  There are some obese people who with a doctor's help can find relief from being overweight.  Find more information about apidexin at the above link.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

No Sunday Paper


This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors.



 
Description:                                               cid:01db01cb4ad3$53450c20$B2F64432@mycomputer
"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!"
The irate customer calling the newspaper office, loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.


"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".
There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, ..
..."Well, shit, that explains why no one was at church either.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Help Is Possible

I noticed that everyday, you hear of someone having an addiction to some sort of drugs.  They are mostly in the entertainment field and therefore the new media flashes the information all over the news.  They will tell of how the notable person, has entered a treatment center for help.  Today's young people have got hooked on different forms of heroin.  You can tell them about the heroin addiction treatment centers  that are in your area.  Sometimes the family will need to intervene and get these people the help they desperately need.

Ralphy

Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.
 After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat." 

Little RALPHY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"
 Little RALPHY answered, "No, he minded his own f....... business."


 I LOVE Little RALPHY!!!!!

Friendships.....

Friendship among Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning
she told her husband that she had slept over at a
friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best
friends. None of them knew anything about it.




Friendship among Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he
told his wife that he had slept over at a friend's
house. The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Wave Goodbye!

President Barack Obama walks up the stairs of ... 
What no elevator for our esteemed President?  How tacky of us to make him have to walk.  :)

Sneakers

I remember buying a pair of sneakers back in the "olden days"!  They were only used for the gym and playing basketball.  Today, you can find a whole array of designers jumping on the bandwagon of shoe design.  The  Ateliers Arthur  brand is unique, as far as sneakers can go.  The one's I saw listed on this website were nice and I could utilize a few of them in my wardrobe.  The price might be a bit steep for my budget, but some people don't have that worry.

Sure!

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" (What?)
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"

He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

Oh boy!

GPS

I suppose that you have a need for different types of merchandise when dealing with certain brands and designs of vehicles?  One thing I really am having a difficult time understanding is what the difference is between a car GPS versus a truck GPS?  So I must research further the information about top 10 truck gps  to find out what the details involve.  It's possible there is much information for my shallow mind to devour, once I get to the website.

Oh My

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" His reply: "I know. I already got that side."

Keep Muscle Tone

When you have a long stay in the hospital and are in the bed most of the time, you find that the medical staff will make sure to get you up and moving if possible.  This keeps the muscles from getting weak and unable to support your body weight.  The will use the muscle stimulator  units to try an keep your legs pliable for walking and moving around.  These units are especially important when a person is bedridden for more than a week or so.

Oh Yeah?

File photo of Schwarzenegger speaking after accepting ... 
Well, here we go again.  If it isn't one, it's another of our esteemed governmental colleagues.  I can't say that he was in his right mind, when he pulled off this little fiasco.  It seems that the woman involved in this sorted affair, wasn't what I would have expected him to have approached.  I guess we don't know people as well as we think and he really must have been "home alone" to have had anything to do with her.  The picture I saw didn't give much to be desired, other than a large set of boobs.

Live Long.....

It's true.  If you live long enough the day will rise up and smack you right in the face.  Your over the hill and whether you like it or not, you have to deal with it.  Along with the getting older comes the need for health insurance.  Our esteemed government, has given us the option on getting a Medicare plan  to ease some of the costs involved in the process of getting old.  This place will help you understand the benefits you can obtain with the different plans and what to expect when you have need of them.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

About Time!

Inmate trustees from St. Martin Parish Correctional ... 
It's my firm belief that these people should contribute to these situations, when the times arise.  Inmate trustees from St. Martin Parish Correctional Center make sandbags for residents in preparation of impending flooding from the likely diversion of Mississippi River floodwaters into the Atchafalaya Basin, in Stephensville, La.

Oops Break Down.....

When your out traveling around and enjoying the scenery, the one thing you don't need is to break down.  Your vehicle is important to the travel time you experience.  If your RV breaks down there is plenty to consider when it's a repair problem.  To get good  rv repair  is hard to do, when your out on a country road, miles away from a town.  RV centers aren't as easy to access as regular auto repair shops.  For more information about RV repair, click on the above link and read their sources.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

5 Minute Management Course

LESSON:1

      

        A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is

finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.The wife
quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When
she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. 
Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to
drop that towel."  After thinking for a moment, the woman
drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a
few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.The woman wraps
back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets
 to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"  "It
was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies. "Great,"
the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he
owes me?"  

        Moral of the story:

        If you share critical information pertaining to
credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may
be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

      

                  Lesson 2:

        A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and
crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The
priest nearly had an accident.  After controlling the car,
he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said,
"Father, remember Psalm 129?" The priest removed his hand.
But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg
again.  The nun once again said, "Father, remember
Psalm 129?" The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the
flesh is weak." Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed
heavily and went on her way.
        Upon his arrival at the church, the priest rushed
to look up Psalm 129. It said, "Go forth and seek, further
up, you will find glory."

        Moral of the story:

        If you are not well informed in your job, you
might miss a great opportunity.

      

                    Lesson 3:

      

        A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the
manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique
oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out.  The Genie
says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."
      "Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I
want to be in the Bahamas , driving a speedboat,
without a care in the world."  Puff! She's gone.      

        "Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want
to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal
masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the
love of my life."  Puff! He's gone.      

        "OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager.
        The manager says, "I want those two back in the
 office right after lunch."
          
        Moral of the story:

        Always let your boss have the first say..

                    Lesson 4

      

        An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing
nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him,
"Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle
answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the
ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden,
a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

        Moral of the story:

        To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be
sitting very, very high up.

      

      

                    Lesson 5

      

        A turkey was chatting with a bull."I would
love to be able to get to the top of that tree" sighed
the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."  "Well, why
don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.
"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at
a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The
next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the
second branch. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey
was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was
promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the
tree.
       
        Moral of the story:

        Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't
keep you there..

      

      

                    Lesson 6

      

        A little bird was flying south for the winter.
It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground
into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow
came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen
bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to
realize how warm he was. The dung was actually
thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy,
and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard
the bird singing and came to investigate. Following
the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile
of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
           

        Morals of the story:

        (1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.

        (2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your

        friend.
        (3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep

        your mouth shut!   
  
        THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Smart Ass

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready, with only a few shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're selling."


No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft voice asked, "What are you sellin' here?"


One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling ass-holes."


Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "Must be doing well...only two left."


Seniors -- don't mess with them!

Sunday, May 1, 2011

Bin Laden Dead!

The news stations across America, are announcing the death of Osama Bin Laden.........We are waiting for the details of the report from the President of the United States.  It is our prayer that finally our country can feel some closure to the horrible 911 event.  I hope the DNA will give us the true picture and not be a fraud.

Damned It...........

The last few days have been one hell after another.  My youngest has been so messed up over this guy leaving her and all the other stuff going on.  The asshole has been downright mean to her and now he's back over there after all he's put her through.  I'm at my witts end with these two, and tired of all the crap they have put me through.  I hope he gets what he deserves, after all the things he's been doing.