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Friday, December 30, 2011

Christmas Gifts?

A Washington state man faces felony marijuana trafficking charges after an officer found 3.3 pounds of marijuana wrapped up as Christmas gifts during a traffic stop in northern Idaho.  He was stopped because his vehicle was repeatedly changing lanes and following other drivers too closely. The officer said he smelled marijuana as he approached the vehicle. The deputy asked him what was in the presents and he stated some 'sweaters".

A drug-sniffing dog indicated the packages contained drugs and officers opened them. His 12- and 14-year-old sons, who were in the vehicle with him, were taken into custody on suspicion of frequenting, or being in the company of someone in possession of a controlled substance. The boys will not be charged.

The man has been released after posting a $20,000 bond. Records show he works at a hydroponics supply store in north Spokane, go figure.  :)

Monday, December 26, 2011

Pool Pump

 Since it's winter in most of the states, you will find many area pools empty because of the cold weather.  An indoor/outdoor pool would be a great asset but mostly not accessible.  More that one season of using a swimming pool can cause great wear and tear on the pool's equipment.  To keep your pump ready, an inspection of the  pool pump motors    readiness, is necessary.  You will need to replace any worn parts and it's possible to get the correct part at the above link.  Shop at your convenience when you have pool needs.
 

Thursday, December 22, 2011

"Any man can make mistakes, but only an idiot persists in his error."

Thursday, December 15, 2011

How the fight started.........

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as
a Christmas gift...

The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied,

"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

5 Rules in Life.........

1. Money cannot buy happiness
   but it's more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle.

2. Forgive your enemy but remember the bastard's name.

3. Help someone when they are in trouble and they will
  remember you when they're in trouble again.

4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.

5. Alcohol does not solve any problems,
     ..... but then again, neither does milk

2AM?

A Police STOP at 2 AM 
An elderly man is stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and is asked where he is going at this time of night. 
The man replies, "I am on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late." 
The officer then asks, "Really? Who is giving that lecture at this time of night?" 
The man replies, "That would be my wife."

Fifty Bucks!

Ed and his wife Norma go to the state fair every year,

And every year Ed would say,

" Norma, I'd like to ride in that helicopter "

Norma always replied,

" I know Ed , but that helicopter ride is fifty bucks,

And fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "

One year Ed and Norma went to the fair, and Ed said,

" Norma, I'm 75 years old.

If I don't ride that helicopter, I might never get another chance "

To this, Norma replied,

" Ed, that helicopter ride is fifty bucks, and fifty bucks is fifty bucks "

The pilot overheard the couple and said,

" Folks I'll make you a deal. I'll take the both of you for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and don't say a word I won't charge you a penny!

But if you say one word it's fifty dollars. "

Ed and Norma agreed and up they went.

The pilot did all kinds of fancy maneuvers, but not a word was heard.

He did his daredevil tricks over and over again,

But still not a word...

When they landed, the pilot turned to Ed and said,

" By golly, I did everything I could to get you to yell out, but you didn't.

I'm impressed! "

Ed replied,

"Well, to tell you the truth I almost said something when Norma fell out,

But you know,

Fifty bucks is fifty bucks! "

We The People..........

"We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional.  We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a BILL OF NO RIGHTS."

Pay Increase?

A pastor's wife was expecting a  baby, so he stood before the congregation and asked for a raise.  After much discussion, they passed a rule that whenever the pastor's family expanded; so would his paycheck.

After 6 children, this  started to get expensive and the congregation decided to hold another meeting to discuss the pastor's expanding salary.

A  great deal of yelling and inner bickering ensued, as to how much the pastor's additional children were costing the church, and how much  more it could potentially cost.

After listening to them for about an hour, the pastor rose from his chair and spoke, "Children are a gift from God, and we will take as many gifts as He gives us."


Silence fell over the congregation.  In the back pew, a little old lady struggled to stand, and finally said in her frail voice, "Rain is also a gift from God, but when we get too much of it, we wear rubbers."

The entire congregation said, "Amen.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Still Shopping

I notice that electronic items are becoming cheaper, with each new innovation.  The  acer laptops   seem to be a good quality brand of computers.  I have been holding back on buying a laptop, because of the extras that they list for each one.  When I shop, there are many listed which I have no brain knowledge about.  I suppose reading  the information booklets would help.  I still need a good knowledge of these extras and how to use them.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

What?

Three friends from the local congregation were asked, 'When you're in your casket, and friends and congregation members are mourning over you, what would you like them to say?'
Artie said: ' I would like them to say I was a wonderful husband, a fine spiritual leader, and a great family man.'
Frank commented: 'I would like them to say I was a wonderful teacher and servant of God who made a huge difference in people's lives.'
Al said: 'I'd like them to say, 'Look, he's moving!'

Thank You.....

Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbor and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table. 'Young man, we're both 90 years old, ' the husband said. 'We may not have 45 minutes.' They were seated immediately.

Oh Yeah........

I was in the six item express lane at the store quietly fuming. Completely ignoring the sign, the woman ahead of me had slipped into the check-out line pushing a cart piled high with groceries. Imagine my delight when the cashier beckoned the woman to come forward looked into the cart and asked sweetly, 'So which six items would you like to buy?'
Wouldn't it be great if that happened more often?