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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Lighting......

When you are shopping for lighting for a home or office, you tend to get more than one quote of prices.  You then compare the quality along with the quantity for that price.  It's a good thing to be sure of the company you are dealing with.  To find Maxim lighting  I suggest going online and shopping around for the best deals.  I'm sure you can get the right type of lighting you will enjoy having in your home or office.  For more information, click on the above link and look around the website.

Drinking with a Texas Girl

A  Mexican, an Arab,
and a  Texas girl are
in the same bar.  
When the  Mexican
finishes his beer,
he throws his glass
in the air, pulls out
his pistol, and shoots
the glass  to pieces.
He says, 'In Mexico ,
our glasses are so
cheap we don't  need
to drink with the same one twice.'
The  Arab, obviously
impressed by this,
drinks non-alcohol beer
(cuz he's a muslim!),
throws it into the
air, pulls out his
AK-47, and shoots
the glass to pieces.
He says, 'In the
Arab World, we have
so much sand to make
glasses that we don't
need to drink with
the same one twice either.'
The  Texas  girl,
cool as a cucumber,
picks up her beer,
downs it in one gulp,  
throws the glass into
the air, whips out her
45, and shoots the  
Mexican and the Arab.
Catching her glass,
setting it on the bar, and  calling for a refill,
she says,
'In  Texas
we have so many
illegal aliens that
we don't have to
drink with the  same ones twice.'   
God Bless TEXAS

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Halloween........

Who needs a costume, this time of year? Now if it were New Year's Eve and you were going to a Costume Party to ring in the new year, then I'd say, yes there are people who need a costume. Maybe you can get them at a discount, for later when the parties start up again. This website tries to provide the largest selection of Halloween costumes  during the Halloween season, understand that there are many holidays and occasions other then Halloween for which people need costumes. They have several different Kids Costumes from every era in history, in sizes that will fit from the smallest to the largest child. They pride themselves in providing the largest offering of costumes for Adults as well as children. In their line of Adult Costumes they have all type to offer, one which I especially liked. The "Adult Burgundy Tavern Wench Costume", gives a flair to the era of Pirates. This costume includes a polyester dress with a burgundy and navy crushed velvet overdress with gold trim. You have to supply your own beer/ale mug and boots or shoes as well. It is available in sizes Small (6-8), Medium (8-10), Large (10-12) & Extra Large (12-14) and for the plus sizes there is another section in which to shop. When you make your order it will be shipped the same day if it's made before 5pm and you might check out their free shipping promotion.

DEVIL IN THE CHURCH

One Sunday morning, everyone in one bright, beautiful, tiny town got up early and went to the local church. Before the services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church, except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving... seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence. Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked, "Aren't you afraid of me?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Gold Eagle Coins

If you deal in silver bars or rare coins then you should have a good supply on hand should this type of recession happen. You can  buy gold bullion  and  have it delivered to your bank or institution according to your specifications. I checked out a site that has been in business for quite awhile now. They deal in precious metals and have a good supply of rare coins on hand.  It is a service that deals with some of the finest rare coins in the world. For more information go to this website and look around. A collection of rare coins can be handed down from generation to generation, and develop even greater value.  I checked out a site that has been in business for quite awhile to buy gold eagle coins at a good price. They deal in precious metals and have a good supply of rare coins on hand. The American Gold Eagle coin, available in units of 10 coins in the US at $50. face value, for personal delivery. If you deal in silver bars or rare coins then you should have a good supply on hand for those economic times.

Great Divorce Letters....

My Dear husband:
 
I'm writing  this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you. I've been a good wife to you for the last 20 years & I have nothing to show for it, and the last 2 weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you left your job today which was the last straw. Last week, you came home & you didn't even notice I had a new hairstyle, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new nightie. You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching your TV soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore; you don't want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore; whatever the case, I'm gone. Your EX-Wife. Don't try to find me. Your BROTHER & I are moving to Invercargill together! Have a great life!
 

Dear Ex-wife
 
Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true you & I have been married for 20 years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch TV soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining & bitching. Too bad that doesn't work. I DID notice when you got a hair do last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was 'You look just like a boy!' Since my father raised me not to say anything, if you can't say something nice, I didn't comment. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have got me confused with MY BROTHER because I haven't eaten pork for 7 years. About the new nightie: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on it, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed $50 from me that morning. After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could work it out. So when I won the 20 million dollar Lotto, on Saturday, I left my job & bought 2 tickets for us to Jamaica, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason, I guess.
 
I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won't get a dollar from me.
 
So take care.
 
Signed, Your Ex-Husband, Rich As Hell & Free!
 
P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this, but my brother Carl was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.
 

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Insurance

I noticed that recently the cost of a funeral has kept going up.  I wonder why it takes so darn much to get born and to die?  You'd think they'd be glad to get rid of us old geezers and do it for free!  I just found that I may need to update my life insurance policy  for more coverage. It may cost me more but at least it will be one of the things the kids won't have to deal with, when my time comes.  Sure hope it takes it's time getting here!  I still have some living to do, before then.

Humid

It sure has been humid here is the Texas area lately.  The weatherman, says rain and it rains but never in our area.  If it does rain, it's comes as one hell of a storm and it's not funny or enjoyable.  I guess the humidity makes more people who are lazy get off their duffs and shower.........Hey, have you ever walked up beside of a person who hasn't taken a bath in a day or so?  Not a good experience!  Make sure you don't get caught in an elevator with one of them, boy what a thrill!  Your lucky if you don't get sick to your stomach.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

A Tux.....

This time of the year, is very popular for the rental places.  They are swamped with requests for tuxedos  by high school students parents, and then you have the upcoming June weddings.  Whatever be the need, you will want to look your best in the right tuxedo of your choice.  Getting fitted, and measured is very important and requires an appointment.  It's necessary to make sure you don't look like a dunce at your dance or wedding.  For more information about a tux, click on the above link and shop around.
One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on.   So he called one of His angels and sent the angel to Earth for a time.

When he returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on Earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.
  
God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'
  
So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time.
 
When the angel returned he went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The Earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good.'

God was not pleased. So He decided to e-mail the 5% that were good, because he wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going..
  
Do you know what the e-mail said?
 
Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either. 


Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Eczema

This is a terrible skin condition that many people are plagued with.  If one of those people is you, then you apt to be scratching and having flaky skin, that drives you crazy.  There is hope for you suffering people if you will get good eczema treatments  for your problem.  I'm sure that's not a problem for you, unless you find it too expensive.  The doctor's can direct you to a treatment that you will be able to afford.

Ha........Ha

6 Truths of Life

1. You cannot touch all your top teeth with your tongue.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
 

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

3. And discover that The first truth is a lie and feel superior because they can do it.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 


4. You're smiling now because you're an idiot.

 
 
 
 
 
 
 


5.. You soon will forward this to another idiot.

 
 
 
 
 
 
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.
 
 
I apologize about this.

I found out that I was an idiot too and I needed company...

Ready for Summer?

Bathing suit time has arrived, in all it's hot glory.  Are you and your body ready to be exposed?  There's still time to get rid of that unwanted fat, and shape up.  A good weight loss diet  can get you started along with a good exercise program.  I know you didn't want to hear me say, exercise, but you know that with any program comes the exercise.  For more information click on the above link and look around the website, to get a good understanding.