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Sunday, December 19, 2010

Insurance

Our wonderful government has come to the conclusion that all of us must have  affordable health insurance to cover any health problems we may incur.  I'm not a sickly person and rarely go to the doctor unless it's really necessary.  I don't feel the need for health insurance, but there are many people who need it.  Without it they would have huge medical bills to pay.  I know of several people who almost live in the hospital or doctor's office.  I don't relish their medical bills or bad health.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Do You Need........

 Are you in the mood to cleanse your body from all the toxins you have put in it recently?  I'm sure there were many from all that Thanksgiving food you ingested.  A good colon cleanser  can help rid your body of these toxins just in time to do it all over again, Christmas and New Year's.  Either way you can find more information about the right one to choose for your cleanse, and you might consider consulting your doctor before consuming it orally.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Ouch......!

A pirate walked into a bar, and the bartender said, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.
What happened ?   You look terrible."


"What do you mean?" said the pirate, "I feel fine."  

"What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before."  

"Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but
I'm fine now."  

The bartender replied, "Well, OK, but what about that hook ?  What happened to
your hand?"  

The pirate explained, "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a
sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." 
 

"What about that eye patch?"  

"Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over.
I looked up, and one of them sh*t in my eye." 
 

"You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird sh*t." 
 

"It was my first day with the hook." 

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Gold Coins

The United States Gold Bureau is home to a large and dedicated staff of hard asset professionals committed to serving your precious metals investment needs and being America’s best dealer with a convenient market and competitive precious metals prices.
In all ages, man has been fascinated with the beauty and magic of gold, and with its power to change men’s lives. Today, the beauty of a gold bar lies in its proven ability to diversify investments, protect wealth and preserve one’s purchasing power.   As an investment product, you can buy gold coins  that have a currency value.
Buying gold has been recognized for centuries as one of the best ways to preserve one’s wealth and purchasing power. Gold bullion is a unique investment. From the time of ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans to more modern times, man has had an affinity for gold bullion.  Ingots are generally pure bullion cast in a convenient size and shape.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Insurance

Recently, we've become more interested in the need for insurance.  It's become a dire need to have because of the way the cost of funeral arrangements have gone up.  You can get  term life insurance quotes according to the needs of your family and your expenses.  I'm sure that you will want to invest in your childrens future as well as your own retirement.  Click on the above link for more information.
 

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Ha Ha

How fast can you guess these words?

1. F_ _K
2. PU_S_
3. S_X  

4. P_N_S  
5. BOO_S 
6. _ _NDOM   




 




  




Answers

1. FORK 
2. PULSE
3. SIX
4. PANTS
5. BOOKS
6. RANDOM 


You got all 6 wrong....didn't you?

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Barcode

The middle of the new age technology has produced all types of electronic gadgets.  The  barcode scanner  has helped turn around the way cashiers handle the merchandise they sell.  Inventory is much easier to keep up with because of this invention.  It takes lot less time to get the product pricing done, with the label that the scanner detects.  Proper maintenance, can help keep these scanners working well, daily.  For more information click on the above link

A Pilot.......

Here's MY story about a pilot......... 
The Woman Marine Pilot

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories. 
There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the
teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left. 
“Janie, do you have a story to share ? '
''Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. 
She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy
territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife. 
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then her parachute
landed her right in the middle of 20 Iraqi troops. 
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the
knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands. 
''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher. 'What did your Daddy tell you was the
moral to this horrible story ? 
"Stay away from Mommy when she's been drinking."

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Jobs

The health care field  is said to be one of the best jobs to obtain, because it will always be in need of workers.  To find medical job listings  you would need to check newspapers, local job agencies or go online to certain website's to see the latest openings.  I've worked in the medical field before and it's not as easy to get a job, today as it was back then.  You need some medical training in order to qualify for certain jobs.  For more information, click on the above link.

Your Mom........

You and Your Mom Are Completely Different



At times, it seems like you and your mom aren't even related.

You often wonder how two people from the same family can be so different.

As the saying goes... you can pick your friends, but not your relatives.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Sleep

I find it harder each night to get a good sleep and be rested the next day.  It is the time that I like to cozy up under the blankets and snuggle down for a good sleep.  I am looking to find the best natural sleep aid  to help with my problem.  I would like to be able to get one good night's sleep this week.  It's been a horrible week for sleeping because of the young people next door.  They want to party all night long some nights.

Thighs.......


Moo Moooo

Oooops, another blunder........


Healthy?

 Some people use a  colon cleanse  to promote better health, while others use it to help loose weight.  I've often considered it to be rather harsh on your system, so I've not make the effort to utilize it.  I suppose that you can get one that will work well for you.  I believe that a doctor should be consulted before making this type of attack on your body.  Hopefully, you will find a good cleanse that won't make you feel so weak the next day.

Shopping

How many times have you shopped at a Wal-Mart store and found that you couldn't get served in a timely manner? Recently while shopping at a superstore, we tried to get served at the deli, and there was only one person, to about 5 or 6 customers, and we finally got tired of waiting. The deli worker, acted as if the customers weren't even standing there, and went on about her business of whatever she was doing behind the counter. Getting frustrated we walked away, and finished the other parts of our shopping.
The only time you can get out of the long lines, is if you are shopping around midnight or maybe 3 or 4am in the mornings. Those self serve registers' are a pain in the backside, because they keep stopping you, in the middle of a scan, to ask if you want to "skip the bagging". After you've done this once or twice, it will call for assistance from a clerk, and you have to stand there and wait while the clerk decides you are next on her list of people to assist. So, this last time, we went to a clerk operated line, and this person, didn't even say hello, she just started scanning our items. I spoke to her and brought her back to reality, and she actually returned the acknowledgement.
When we were going out the entrance/exit the elderly man, stopped us after we had already cleared the security poles and it hadn't gone off. Now you know if something hasn't been cleared, that loud embarrassing thing will go off with a horrible overhead beep.
In the parking lot, we nearly got run over by this fast driving fool.
Hey, there are many great deals and prices at Wal-Mart, but a lot of stressful situations also.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Time to Loose

 I believe this person, could use some help with this mid-section.  It's become an epidemic here in America, and they are saying that we need more  weight loss information  to educate us on the way to control our weight.  It's actually not the complete truth, because you have to really want to curb your eating.  People telling you that you need to loose weight won't do much unless you are actually ready to make the effort.  Your health will become drastically changed with the weight loss, unless you have chronic diseases.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Turkey Recipe

I thought this sounded good! Here is a turkey recipe that also includes 
the use of popcorn as a stuffing ingredient -- imagine that. When I found 
this recipe, I thought it was perfect for people like me, who just are not 
sure how to tell when turkey is thoroughly cooked, but not dried out. Give 
this a try. 

 
 

8 - 15 lb. turkey 
1 cup melted butter 
1 cup stuffing (
Pepperidge Farm is Good)  
1 cup un-popped popcorn (ORVILLE REDENBACHER'S LOW FAT IS BEST) 
Salt/pepper to taste 

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Brush turkey well with melted butter, salt, 
and 
pepper. 
Fill cavity with stuffing and popcorn. Place in baking pan making sure the 
neck end is toward the front of the oven, not the back. 

After about 4 hours listen for the popping sounds. 

When the turkey's ass blows the oven door open and the bird flies across 
the room,.... it's done. 

And, you thought I didn't cook...

Thursday, November 18, 2010

InSinkErator

I've heard of many brands that boast their products being the best to use when equipping your home or office.  Plumbing supplies are necessary when you need to get a place set up to building codes.  This company has been around for a few years and most builders can depend on the  Insinkerator  products to get the job done.  You can depend on these products to be around long after the other brands need to be replaced.  For more information about this company's products, just click on the above link.

Toliet Seat

Charlie's wife, Lucy, had been after him for several weeks to paint the seat on their toilet.  Finally, he got around to doing it while Lucy was out.  After finishing, he left to take care of another matter before she returned. 

She came in and undressed to take a shower.  Before getting in the shower, she sat on the toilet.  As she tried to stand up, she realized that the not-quite-dry epoxy paint had glued her to the toilet seat. 

About that time, Charlie got home and realized her predicament.  They both pushed and pulled without any success whatsoever.  Finally, in desperation, Charlie undid the toilet seat bolts.  Lucy wrapped a sheet around herself and Charlie drove her to the hospital emergency room. 


The ER Doctor got her into a position where he could study how to free her (Try to get a mental picture of this.).  Lucy tried to lighten the embarrassment of it all by saying, "Well, Doctor, I'll bet you've never seen anything like this before." 

The Doctor replied, "Actually, I've seen lots of them.  I just never saw one mounted and framed."

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Gold Coins

Buying gold has been recognized for centuries as one of the best ways to preserve one’s wealth and purchasing power. Gold bullion is a unique investment. From the time of ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans to more modern times, man has had an affinity for gold bullion.
In all ages, man has been fascinated with the beauty and magic of gold, and with its power to change men’s lives. Today, the beauty of a gold bar lies in its proven ability to diversify investments, protect wealth and preserve one’s purchasing power.  As an investment product, gold is available in coin or ingot form. Ingots are generally gold ingots of pure bullion cast in a convenient size and shape.  You can  buy gold coins  that have a currency value or they are actually defined as ingots.  
With the  United States Gold Bureau  you can purchase silver, gold or other precious metals and coins for immediate personal delivery or arrange for convenient and safe storage at an independent bank or depository.

Old

I'm so damned old and fat it's no wonder there aren't any men who want to have a relationship with me.  I keep trying  to find someone I want to be with, and they end up looking or acting like shit.  The one's I really want are a bit younger than me and take my breath away.  The idiots that want to have a relationship with me, are ugly and too demanding.  I fear they will get me only to get sick and have someone take care of them.  That's not going to happen, I'm not a caretaker or a nurse.  Not many chances to left to have a good life or romance with someone my age.......YUCK!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Diets

Here it is the best diet effective pill on the market.  That is the line that they dealers are giving you to get you to buy their products.  The best way of course is to use organic products which are considered more safe.  The effects of using hoodia  greatly enhances the loss of weight for dieters.  Combined with exercise and a good diet, this product can assist you in getting rid of excess weight and keep it off.  For information, click on the above link and look around.

What's a 710

A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a 710.

We all looked at each other and another customer asked, 'What is a seven-hundred-ten?'

She replied, 'You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one.'

She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there.

The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like.

She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to a car just like hers which had its hood up and asked 'is there a 710 on this car?'

She pointed and said, 'Of course, its right there.'

If you're not sure what a 710 is



Scroll down  







2.1931420082@web32008.mail.mud.yahoo.com3.1931420082@web32008.mail.mud.yahoo..com



4.1931420082@web32008..mail.mud.yahoo.com    Okay guys you can stop laughing!!              


Saturday, November 13, 2010

Natural

I look at the different male products on the market these days, and wonder just how many of them actually work.  The doctor can prescribe the correct medicines to help the male body if necessary.  I see the markets having a line of this or that product but they really need natural testosterone  to enhance the body functions.  For more information on these products, click on the above link and look around.

Too Drunk

Why do people go to a bar to have fun and then get so drunk they can't act right?  I watched this episode unfold the other night, with 3 people who have been in my life for several years.  It was bad to watch them slowly get so drunk that they couldn't control their remarks and actions.  Finally they ended up being miffed with each other and going separate ways, mad.  It's not fun to go and mess up a great evening with friends.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Women

 When you look at all the different things a woman needs to make her beautiful, it's down right overwhelming.  Not only do we have to use many of these things, but then they find that there's the best diet pills for women  as well. Now I realize that our bodies are different from men's, but really now how can we need something different just to loose weight?  I suppose we will have to try it in order to find the mystery.

Parking

There is very limited parking around the apartment I live in.  Many of us opt to park on the city street in front to gain easier access to the front of our buildings.  We have this problem several evenings a week.  There is a local pub/party catering club 2 doors down that hosts large parties.  These can last into the wee hours of the morning depending on the people and the advance of the wine.  Yes, I said wine and there is the problem.  This place offers fine wine with the meals they cater and the parties are often very large.  Alas, no parking spaces for us the tenants of the apartment.  The street is engorged with the cars of the people attending the party.

Printers

 I've been looking around different website's in search of the newer brands of electronic devices and machines.  I have owned many different brands, in recent years.  I found that once I get into a good reliable brand I tend to stick with it.  This one website has a large supply of name brands when it comes to looking for printers.  They are mostly standard versions, with quality business and home printer like the epson printers  that have been on the market for years.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Oh Yeah......

big_16503521234567.jpg HAPPY THAKSGIVING image by AMBER63822

Different People

There are many different people in my life, and I often wonder why I even allow some of them to influence me, with their crap?  It's amazing the type of people you can run into, when shopping.  What's even worse is the type of people you meet in bars.  There are some that are down right crusty.  Others are the local bar flies, the loose women and the men who are looking for them.  There's the falling down drunk and the social drinker.  As a bartender, I deal with these many flavors of people.  Given the chance I can be just as crazy as some of them, depending on the amount of beer that's been placed on the table.  I do try to control my amount, because I am left to drive my drunk car home.  Sometimes, I have to put it on "autopilot" and tell it "home James".....Somehow, that fellow makes it.......safely!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Web Hosting

A good  dedicated hosting  company can help organizations in various sectors, from online businesses such as e-commerce, web developers, and SaaS applications, to government agencies, non-profit organizations, financial institutions, and more.  You can make sure your online services are running smoothly 24/7 with this company's applications and skills.

Ostrich

 A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?"
"I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order.  "That will be $9.40 please."  The man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke.."
 The ostrich says, "I'll have the same.."
 Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress.
"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man.
 "Same," says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.  "Excuse me, sir.  How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

"Well," says  the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp.  When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.   My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money  would always be there."

 "That's  brilliant!" says the waitress..  "Most  people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!"

"That's right.  Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man..
 
The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.."

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Decorating

Having to decorate a new office is a pain, sometimes.  It gives you a certain area with certain views and just so much space to utilize.  Finding the correct furniture and accessories can be a problem also. I find that many executives, hire a decorating firm to do the job for them.  If you are considering doing some  office decorating or remodeling, then you would do well to click on the above link and see what this website has to offer your new decor.

Oh My.......

As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.
I was quite embarrassed when performing female
pelvic exams...To cover my embarrassment
I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.
The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this
exam suddenly burst out laughing
and further embarrassing me.
I looked up from my work and sheepishly said.  . .
'I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?'
She replied with tears running down
her cheeks from laughing so hard . . .
' No doctor but the song you were whistling was . . .
' I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener .' 

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Ugly Crap

There are some people who have real greasy skin, and before long you will notice a blackhead emerge.  I've often thought it was because those people didn't keep their skin as clean as they should.  Who am I to judge, when you see people that need help by getting a  blackhead remover  to rid them of the problem.  Deep pores can be the spots for these things to show up.  I often wonder if they can't use a deep cleanser to remove some of the oils?

.Oh Sure!

This is a hard one for me to write about, since I've been a wife several times, and I still haven't gotten it right. It seems you have to be a mother, friend, lover, cook, domestic servant and whatever else he wants you to be. I fail to find being an individual in any of those categories.
Actually, that is what most men want from women and once in awhile you find a refreshing person, who actually likes his woman to be strong and responsible, with plenty of personality. "The Perfect Wife", is one who is dependable, moral, loving, and giving. We just can't be anything else, it's built in to our beings. Women are raised by their mother's to be the best they can be as a woman, so they won't have to worry about other women, trying to snatch up their man. Sorry, ladies I know this hasn't worked for many of us.
I can remember going to high school, and making sure that I took "Home Economics",(home making) to be sure I had everything going for me. I was going to be the best at being everything a man could want, for "The Perfect Wife". I knew how to cook, clean, do laundry, needle work, and still be a woman at night. Two babies, later I was a total wreck and barely dragging myself around during the day. Nights, had become engrossed in sleeping, and not much of anything else. By that time I had totally lost the person, I was before I became "The Perfect Wife".
I believe some ladies, have it easy and are natural women of the home. Some women like myself, really have to keep at it, just to scratch the surface.
I believe, that being loved is the best activator of a woman's actions, toward her family. When she is loved and she feels it, then she becomes the giver, that her heart has been hiding. When a woman, is happy and loved she will climb mountains, swim oceans and all the other wild things, to be with her people/family/man. She is the strength, when your down, the helper, the friend, the mender, the mother, the companion, the lover just to mention a few.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

My Eyes

I've had large black circles under my eyes for years and have used many different eye creams to try and get rid of them.  It hasn't worked, so I'm wondering if using an  eye wrinkle cream  would help with this problem?  As I have aged, my eyes have developed wrinkles and that makes me really look old.  I can't afford a real expensive formula for skin and eye care.  I have to find a product that I can afford and still get good results.

Watch My Back

A woman I work with has made sure to be a thorn in my side from the very first day.  This isn't the first time she's worked with me and the first time was a disaster for me, because of all the turmoil she dishes out.  She's an outright asshole, and there's no getting around it.  Try as she may, she is having a hard time getting me into an all out fight in front of the customers.  I won't give her that much fun, and she's doing everything she can to make herself needed by the boss.  It's the worst thing anyone could ever imagine, to have to deal with on a job.

Fat......

I know you've seen them.  Those people who make you hurt just to watch them walk.  They are so fat, they can't even stand themselves.  These people need a doctor's help to get rid of that unwanted fat and live a healthier life.  It's possible that they could also look at the  http://www.naturalfatburner.org  reviews and see if one of these products might help them.  For information about the natural fat burners, click on the above link and read what people have to say.

Maxine..........

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Assistance

Getting help on the side of the road, especially on a weekend, is extremely hard.  I've been broken down and needed  roadside assistance  only to be told that they didn't go out that far, so I would have to find a company closer to me. Honestly, how are you going to do that when you don't even know who the local companies are?  The yellow pages, might help but finding a pay phone is even a harder task.  Click on the above link for more information about assistance.

Go Maxine.......


I hate housework! You make 
the beds, do the dishes and 
six months later you have to 
do it all over again!!
                   

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Shoes

I often wonder if you can get a good fit when buying shoes online?  Catalog buying has been around for years and this has become even more popular with the age of technology.  I looked at the website for  mbt shoes  and found that this company has the shoes, which have become popular of late.  The curved soles are supposed to give you better posture, as well as tone your legs.  For more information about these shoes, click on the above link.

Thanks

This is a humble regard for someone who took me under their wing and so graciously offered to teach me how to blog! Mind you, I'm "eating crow" here. Mainly because, I took advantage of this person's, unselfish offer and let them teach me the basics.
At first I was so overwhelmed, with all the information, that I hung onto this person, like a "hungry child". I couldn't get it right, and so I'd cry to them in desperation and fear of messing up. Boy, did mess up! Not just once but many times. Two of my blogs, went to hell because of it.
This person, had called me their "friend", which I accepted completely. That was until I overstepped my boundaries,(which I didn't know were there) and over taxed them by constantly asking for opinions or help. I had helped this person when they had problems, so I didn't think it was a problem for me to seek help, in return. I got dissed, by the person, calling themselves, "my friend"! "Hurt", is not the word to describe, my feelings, right at that moment. I gritted my teeth and bit into my words as I wrote back, my growling essay. By the time we both were finished, so was the "friendship". I totally walked away, and left this person to itself, to "stew in it's own brew". Later in the month when, we ran into each other, I pulled away, from their advances, in an effort to try to say, "they were sorry". My book, doesn't see "friendships" with boundaries, if it's truly a friendship. Their world, obviously was different from mine, so I let it go. Chalked it up as a lost cause, and moved on.
I still want to give credit, where credit is due, and say that this person, did give me very quality information and help. To that I say "thank you".

Fireplaces

How many of you who own homes have longed for an outdoor fireplace on your patio?  It's a pleasure to BBQ outside or just build a fire and sit around it with friends and family.  Getting a good quote on  outdoor fireplaces  before you decide to build is the best idea.  This way you can decide not only on the design, but the price you wish to afford.  For more information about these products and the services involved, click on the above link.

Why I'm divorced . . .

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', 
and possibly have a small present for me. 

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' 

I thought....  Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids....  They will remember. 

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office, 
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! ' It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. 

I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day.  Let's go !' 

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro 
with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful day...  We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?' 

I responded, 'I guess not.  What do you have in mind ?'  She said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..' 

After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, 'Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied. 

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... 
Followed  by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing 'Happy Birthday'. 

And I just sat there.... 

On the couch....





NAKED!!!!

Monday, October 11, 2010

NC Health Insurance

I live in another area of our fine country, but many people who live in the NC area can benefit from this information.  Looking around the website for  short term health insurance NC  I find that many health benefits, can be obtained at one of these local branches or online.  Taking the time to shop for good health care benefits, is very important and should be considered necessary in order to find the right plan for your family.

Ha Ha

A friend sent this joke to me and it was so cute I had to share it with you guys.....
A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two
shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.

The boy asked, 'Paw, what's at?' The father (never having seen an elevator) responded, 'Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen anything like that in my entire life, I ain't got no idea'r what it is.'
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular number above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous 24 year-old blonde woman stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son,

'Boy..................go git cha Momma...............'

Sunday, October 10, 2010

OMG

A man owned a small farm in Kansas. The Kansas State Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him.

'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them,' demanded the agent.

'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for three years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board.'

'The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and board.'

'Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'

'That's the guy I want to talk to -- the half-wit,' says the agent.

'That would be me,' replied the farmer.

Why Not?

I HAVE TO PASS A URINE TEST FOR MY JOB... SO I AGREE 100%. 
Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their butt, doing drugs, while I work. Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check?  Something has to change in this country -- and soon!

Auctions

 I'm sure you've seen this many times, if you are on the web very much.  It's become a great way to shop and get outstanding deals.  Participating in an  online auction  is fun as well as rewarding.  You can find things that your looking to purchase and after you set up your account, you can bid on them.  All deals are supposed to be secured and done in good faith.  Check out the above link and look around the website for great fun and a chance to get great items.

I Give Up.

It's just too much, always having to put up with his crap. He thinks he's so great, and yet he can't even pick up after himself. When will I ever learn how men are? I should know better by now, as old as I am. You'd think I run the other way every time a man looked at me. This just can't be happening to me...I'm not this stupid....and yet I find more about me that I don't like.......letting some asshole guy treat me this way......I just can't get over it.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Rack Mount

I've been to companies that were high tech, with all types of electronic devices which helped maintain the working integration of the overall company.  Not only did they interact with the local company, they also shared with the district and home offices.  A rack mount lcd  is used for industrial care of certain products utilized with large companies. Their industry leading solutions include rack mount LCD’s and leading edge rack mount and embedded computer systems.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Bob.....

The guys were all at a deer camp.  No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly...  They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.
                               
The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot. They said, "Man, what happened to you?  He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."
                               
The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.. They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful!  He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."
                               
The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man.

The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it.  They said, "Man, what happened?"
                                 
He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.  Bob sat up and watched me all night."

Blu Ray

I can remember about 3 years ago, when this type of unit was just coming out.  Is was funny how things appeared on the market for the "Blu Ray" system and you could only play those electronic games or movies on it.  From my understanding, this is a more expensive electronic player than some of the others.  For good quality I suppose you pay good prices.  Look into getting good  blu ray movies  online for a cheaper more reliable source. You can find it at several online stores by shopping around.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Oh Yeah...Go Bubba

Bubba is driving down a back road in Alabama ..  
A sign in front of a restaurant reads:
HAPPY HOUR  SPECIAL
Lobster Tail and Beer
"Lord a'mighty," he says to himself, "Thems my three favorites!"
 
 

Sunday, September 26, 2010

WTF

Story photo: Lindsay Lohan spends less than a day in LA jail
Lohan was released at about 11:40 p.m. after posting $300,000 bail, Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department spokesman Steve Whitmore said early Saturday.  Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Elden Fox had ordered Lohan held without bail during a brief hearing Friday morning, But his ruling later was overturned after the "Mean Girls" star's attorney, Shawn Chapman Holley, filed a late-afternoon appeal seeking bail.  The actress is not entirely free. She will be required to wear an ankle alcohol monitor and stay away from establishments that primarily sell alcohol.  Friday marked the third time Lohan has been sent to jail in a three-year-old drug and drunken driving case. She spent 84 minutes at the jail in 2007 and 14 days of a three-month sentence earlier this summer.
That don't impress me much! Hell, if it had been me they would have thrown the books at me with no bail, and I'd be stuck in that place for 5 years or more.  I don't like people who throw their money around just because they can.  If you do the crime, then you need to do the time, and I feel that they think their money can work wonders for them, even when the chips are down.  So, far she is getting by with the "Hollywood" treatment, and I'm just waiting for her to really pull a good one.  If they get away with crime once, then they go back and do it again, thinking that their lawyer and their money can keep them out.  To, hell with out.....how's she going to get her money and her lawyer to keep her out of the grave?

Gold

Down through the years the best way I’ve found to have assets available, was to buy expensive jewelry or invest in  bullion  which can come in several different precious metals.  If you deal in silver and gold then you should have a good supply on hand when dealing with these metals.  Many dealers have found that they can buy gold coins  and ingots which have been a good sources of metal to stockpile during times of recession.
 I checked out a site that has been in business for quite awhile now. They deal in precious metals and have a good supply of rare coins, ingots, and bullion on hand.  Shopping at the United States Gold Bureau you can purchase silver, gold or other precious metals and coins for immediate personal delivery or arrange for convenient and safe storage at an independent bank or depository.

Over Qualified?

If your over 50 years of age, here comes the problem, right? You go to an interview, and what happens? You know all too well, what happened, when you get a letter saying, you were “over qualified”, for the position. I’ve been there done that.

Oh they say, they are an equal opportunity employer. Not so, if your not young and just starting out then they don’t want you. They want the dashing young men in the offices. The cute sexy, tailered young ladies, have to be on the front desks, to cater to the executives. Administrative assistant, consists of a well dressed, college professors, with 1 to 2 masters degrees in business administration, under the age of 40.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Buying Gold Coins

United States Gold Bureau is home to a large and dedicated staff of hard asset professionals committed to serving your precious metals investment needs and being America’s best dealer with a convenient market and competitive precious metals prices.  There may never be a better time for buying gold bullion than right now. World demand for gold now exceeds annual production, and has every year since 1990. Above ground stockpiles of gold bullion are low, shrinking rapidly and approaching zero.  I checked out a site that has been in business for quite awhile now. They deal in precious metals and have a good supply of rare gold coin s on hand. 
As an investment product, you can buy gold coins that have a currency value.  Buying gold has been recognized for centuries as one of the best ways to preserve one’s wealth and purchasing power. Gold bullion is a unique investment. From the time of ancient Egyptians, Greeks and Romans to more modern times, man has had an affinity for gold bullion.  Ingots are generally pure bullion cast in a convenient size and shape.
Above ground stockpiles of silver and gold bullion are low, shrinking rapidly and approaching zero.

Amen........

'Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world.  Our soldiers don't have that problem.'

When I hear that a prisoner - who was issued a Koran and a prayer mat, and 'fed special food' that is paid for by my taxes - is complaining that his holy book is being 'mishandled,' you can absolutely believe in your heart of hearts:
I don't care. 

Monday, September 20, 2010

Loose Weight

Have you ever been around someone who was obese?  I have worked with people who are really large, and it's very sad to watch them make efforts just to sit down or get up and walk.  I know that these people need some of the  best weight loss supplements  if they ever get on a diet, and stay with it.  Their body will loose so much of it's vital nutrients, while the weight comes off.  I know that a doctor will need to monitor their progress, to make sure they are still healthy.

3 Bears????

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....


Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table.
He looks into his small bowl. It is empty. 'Who's been eating my
 porridge?' he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars.


Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots? It was Mummy Bear who got up first. It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house. It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee. It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away. It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen. It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch The newspaper and croissants. It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.


'It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.


'And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-arses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....




'I HAVEN'T MADE THE FRICKIN' PORRIDGE YET.'