Monday, February 6, 2012

Man, This is a Pain......

Perks of reaching 50

                or being over 60

                And heading towards

                70 or beyond!

                1.

                Kidnappers are not very

                interested in you.

                2.

                In a hostage situation,
                you are likely to be released first.

                3.

                No one expects you to run  -- 

                anywhere.

                4.

                People call at 9 PM (or 9 AM) and ask,

                'Did I wake you?'

                5.

                People no longer view you as a

                hypochondriac.

                6.

                There is nothing left

                to learn the hard way.

                7.

                Things you buy now

                won't wear out. 

8.

                You can eat

                supper at 4 PM.

                9.

                You get into heated arguments

                about pension plans.

                10.

                You no longer think of speed limits

                as a challenge.

                11.

                You quit trying to hold
                your stomach in no matter who walks

                into the room.

                12.

                You sing along

                with elevator music.

                13.

                Your eyes won't get

                much worse.

                14.

                Your investment in health insurance

                is finally beginning to pay off.

                15.

                Your joints are more accurate meteorologists

                than the national weather service.

                16.

                Your secrets are safe with your friends

                because they can't remember them either.

                17.

                Your supply of brain cells is finally down to

                a manageable size.

                18.

                You can't remember

                who sent you this list.


                And you notice these are all

                in big print

                for your convenience.


                Forward this to everyone

                you can remember

                right now!


                AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:
                Never, NEVER, NEVER ,

                under any circumstances,

                take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on

                the same night!

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