Never Question A Drunk........

I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:

A half-gallon of 2% milk,

A carton of eggs,

A quart of orange juice,

A head of romaine lettuce,

A 2 lb. can of coffee, and

A 1 lb. package of bacon

As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I was indeed single. I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status. Curiosity getting the better of me, I said: 'Well, you know what, you're absolutely right.

But how on earth did you know that?'

The drunk replied, 'Cause you're ugly.'

California's Turn.....

So as not to be outdone by all the redneck, hillbilly, and Texan jokes, somebody had to come up with this:
You know you're from California if:

1. Your co-worker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.

2. You make over $300,000 and still can't afford a house.

3. You take a bus and are shocked at two people carrying on a conversation in English.

4. Your child's 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.

5. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

6. You've been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.

7. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian.

8. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

9. A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.

10. Gas costs $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the U.S.

11. Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney.

12. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

13. You can't remember . . is pot illegal?

14. It's barely sprinkling rain and there's a report on every news station: "STORM WATCH.."

15. You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cells or pagers.

16. It's barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

17. HEY!!!! Is pot illegal????

18. Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.

19. The Terminator is your governor.

20. If you drive illegally, they take your driver's license. If you're here illegally, they want to give you one.

Florida Top Grower

Informants played a crucial role in the success of a statewide crackdown in June that resulted in the seizure of 6,828 marijuana plants and 120 residential marijuana labs over the course of a few days. Among the best tipsters, they say, are electricians paid big money by growers to wire the sophisticated network of lights and air conditioners used to cool plants and subject them to round-the-clock illumination. The energy-chugging networks require an expert's touch to bypass the electric meter and tap straight into the grid. A sharp increase in electricity used to be a telltale sign of a grow house. Some growers have caught on, however, and are learning to mask their energy profile.
Levels of THC, the agent in marijuana that produces feelings of euphoria, and in some users mild hallucinations and paranoia - have risen dramatically because of indoor techniques. Thirty years ago, most marijuana contained about 7% THC. Today, indoor growers boast THC levels of 25% or higher thanks to the additional care
The Florida market, a pound of indoor grown marijuana goes for upwards of $4,000. But in the Northeast, the best market for Florida growers, the same marijuana goes for about $8,000 a pound. Unlike their closest regional rivals, Florida growers can produce up to four crops annually.
Hey, that's some serious moola.... no wonder the migrant workers are going for it.........whew!

Desktops

The source, online store is set up to offer many different items you can purchase and get a good deal. The price's range from $399 on desktops and above. They have a few listed at the present and I'm sure will expand their inventory with time. I liked the price's and accessories for these models as well and the other items, they have listed. Should you need to shop for a desktop or laptop, then check the price's and models on this website.

dNeero

I Don't Believe This....

A woman charged with murdering her 3 1/2-week-old son used a knife and two swords to dismember the child and ate parts of his body, including his brain, before stabbing herself in the torso and slicing her own throat, police said Monday.

Otty Sanchez, 33, is charged with capital murder in the death of her infant son, Scott Wesley Buchholtz-Sanchez. She was recovering from her wounds at a hospital, and was being held on $1 million bail.

This is so gross and gruesome, that I can't even fathom the severity of it.

Getting Old

Everyone keeps pushing the fact that I'm getting old. What makes it even worse, and ruins my whole day is when they direct the statements towards my health or impending situations. I'm not sick and if the doctor's wait on me to get sick they'll go broke. All these different advertisements come in the mail, telling me to get ready for my demise, or death. Damn it, why can't they leave me alone? I'm just a healthy old woman, who will live till she dies and don't want to be bothered about it. I have my life insurance, paid up...........so, the kids won't have to worry about getting rid of my body..........It's the damnest thing, insurance is supposed to protect you ......right? Well, how can it keep me from dying........I'm just not on that realm.......

New Place To Party.......

I need to find a new place to party, and be around a different crowd. I've gotten to the point that the local pub, I go to is so boring that I can't enjoy myself one bit. I know all the people that go there, and with the exception of a few stragglers I can't tell you most of their life stories, or backgrounds. Knowing this, how the hell can I find any excitement in getting with a guy that frequents the establishment? I already know who he's been with, and what he's likely to do. That's not much fun and certainly, not enticing. I've been told about a VFW, close to my home, but the cops are bad in that area. I really don't need to come out and head down the street only to see the flashing lights of a squad car behind me, pulling me over to give me a ride down town to the station for a DWI. So, what to do, is still a problem, and I guess I'll keep going to the place that's familiar and being bored to hell.........

Tomatoes

Have you got too many tomatoes on the vine and not enough space in your refrigerator to store them? If your for a family who knows how to can fresh food, then you know you can water bath your extra tomatoes and put them up for later in ball jars. It’s always nice to slice up some of your green tomatoes and freeze them for frying up later. I also like to make my own salsa, with my extra tomatoes and jalapenos, for my Mexican dinners.

Is Marijuana the Answer...........

In this photo, this man delivers medical marijuana from The Green Door dispensary to a man at his home in San Francisco. Since California became the first state to legalize the drug for medicinal use, the weed that the federal government puts in the same category as heroin and cocaine has become a major economic force.

In California, medical marijuana sales are already taxed, and some communities are looking for ways to get a bigger slice of the pot pie. Residents Oakland are currently voting in a mail-in special election that includes a measure which would make the city the first in the country to establish a new tax rate for medical marijuana businesses. If the measure passes, Oakland marijuana dispensaries, which are now charged at the general tax rate of $1.20 per $1,000 in receipts, would see that rate raised to $18 per $1,000.
Not surprisingly, the idea is getting traction in California, home to both the nation"s largest supply of domestically grown marijuana (worth a estimated $14 billion a year) and to the country"s biggest state budget deficit (more than $26 billion).
Even the most ardent marijuana advocates aren"t expecting nationwide legalization anytime soon. Instead, any action is likely to come on the state and local level. For now, all eyes are on cash-strapped California, where high taxes could take on an entirely new meaning.

Balance........

Balance of the Creation

God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him resting on the seventh day..

He inquired, "Where have you been?"
God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, and I've put life on it.. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a place to test Balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, "I'm still confused."

God explained, pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern
Europe is going to be poor. Over here I've placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things."

God continued pointing to different countries. "This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel , impressed by God's work, then pointed to a land area and said, "What's that one?"

"That's the State of Texas , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, beaches and
plains. The people from the State of Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, and humorous, and they are going to travel the world.
They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, "But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.."

God smiled, "There's Washington DC . Wait till you see the idiots I put there.
sent to me by an email friend........

Actor Pleads Guilty..........

A cannabis plant is pictured in London. A 19-year-old actor from the Harry Potter films admitted Thursday growing cannabis at his mother's home, a crime which earned him the tabloid nickname "Harry Pothead. "

Jamie Waylett, left, actor in the Harry Potter films, leaves Westminster Magistrates Court in London, after he pleaded guilty to growing 10 cannabis plants in tents at his mother's home Thursday July 16, 2009. A teenage member of the 'Harry Potter' movies cast has appeared in court and admitted growing marijuana. Nineteen-year-old Jamie Waylett pleaded guilty to producing the drug during a hearing Thursday at City of Westminster Magistrates' Court. Waylett plays school bully Vincent Crabbe in all six installments of the magical film franchise.

Diet Pills Guide

When visiting this website, I almost forgot that I was researching it for this post. I got to looking at all the diet products and their ratings, prices and values. Before I knew it, I had read most of the front page and was looking at all of the reviews, interested in their potency. Finding a good diet pill that works for a good price, is hard to accomplish. I'm kind of tight with my money, so I don't go for spending it on things, that I can do with out. If it's not in my money range then I won't buy it. This website has many different diet pills that they have reviewed and are priced well, to fit your budgets.

Are You Redneck ?

They say your redneck if you, ride your “harley” backwards…………..lol Ever tried that? I’ll bet you haven’t and what’s even more funny, is doing it. I have many redneck friends, and they have a bunch of fun……….or so they say…….either way…….they wake up the next day, wondering how they got there…. of course there’s more to that story than meets the eye……….you’d have to have been there.I know you think I don’t know what I’m talking about, but there are plenty of rednecks in this area, and I’m sure you know a few in your area.

So, have you joined this website…………if not then, go in and check it out. It’s funny and you’ll wish you were having that much fun. They want you to check in as a redneck and see if you qualify? Do you, or are you just faking it? They, love to show you what your missing. It’s a great place to let loose and enjoy life………..for a change…….there’s not many chances to do that any more. If your single, then it’s the time of day, to get a life, for yourself……….whether, you know what you want or not………go for it, it might just turn out for the good…..what’s to loose?

Hey Mom...........

Nominated as the world’s best short joke of the year 2008.

A 3 year old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.

‘Mom’, he asked, ‘Are these my brains?’

‘Not yet,’ she replied.

Your MBA Online

Fall courses are opening up for the coming school year. The University of Scranton, has a 100% credited online MBA which can be completed in 2 years. Your ability to handle the curriculum is set only to your speed. This fully accredited school has the reputation being a 100% top ranked school in the AACSB program. Most universities can only offer this degree in a three year set of courses. Not so with the University of Scranton, it's program works you through the subjects and gets you finished much earlier. Their accredited online degree program provides the curriculum, flexibility and convenience that working professionals must have. Contact their admissions office and get set up for your degree in business.

A Soldier

Medicare Supplement

In a few months I will have to decide on which plan will serve me should I need one. As of today, I need no amount of health care insurance. I've been very healthy most of my life, and the need for medical attention, was something on a short term basis. I will be at the age for the Medicare to kick in soon so, I suppose a Medicare supplement insurance would be necessary to provide the extras, should I become ill and need help. My Mother has a certain provider and I got some paperwork on it. Still I want to shop around while I still have time to get the explanations, I need about the different parts.

No Guns Near There..............

A chaotic scene unfolded at the U.S. Capitol on Wednesday after police shot and killed an armed man in what authorities described as a routine rush hour traffic stop that turned deadly. The unidentified man fled authorities, hitting one officer who was injured, said a U.S. Capitol Police spokesperson. The 35-year-old man was shot after being told to put down his weapon and refusing, it is said. You should know better than to take a gun anywhere around the US Capitol.....!

Best Fat Burners........

Fatburners.org is a good website to get reviews on products for weight loss. I went to this one and found reviews that told about how most fat burners are just a scam and don't really work. Now that 's spending good money for nothing in my opinion. So, I looked at their list of Top 5 and it seemed that each one was listed with some safety tips as well as other quality information. The best fat burner they offered a review on was Liporexall which was given a decent rating. The price tag was fairly high, but there was a listed sale on it at $33. plus with a buy 3 get 1 free with free shipping. I'd say now would be the time to invest in this product if you are ready to burn that fat. They also offer a 100% lifetime money back guarantee on their products.

Every Time.........

US Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor faces the Judiciary Committee panel during her Senate confirmation hearing on Capitol Hill in Washington. Seven weeks after President Barack Obama nominated her to the nine-member bench that serves as the final arbiter of the US Constitution, Sotomayor told her critics that her judicial philosophy is "fidelity to the law. "
Every time, we put a new person on the US Supreme Court, we have to go through this crap. I understand that they have to make sure this person is of good reputation, and will make decent unbiased rulings for the betterment of our country. But, damned the extra crap, that these people come up with........I'm ready for it to be over, and I'm sure she is to.

dNeero

Tony & Jessica Split..........

The popular couple have called it quits. A source close to Simpson confirms they broke up the night before her 29th birthday July 10. She was supposed to celebrate with a Ken and Barbie-themed party.

Lift Off For Evening........

Shortly before 10 a.m. EDT, technicians began pumping a half-million gallons of liquid oxygen and liquid hydrogen into the ship's external fuel tank for the 8 1/2-minute ride into orbit.
Liftoff is scheduled for 7:13 p.m. EDT from the Kennedy Space Center in Florida. Forecasters predicted a 70 percent chance the weather would be suitable for launch.

Space shuttle Endeavour is seen at the Kennedy Space Center. Saturday July 11, 2009, in Cape Canaveral, Fla.. NASA delayed the launch scheduled for Saturday evening after several lightning bolts struck the pad. NASA engineers tested critical launch systems and are planning a second launch attempt Sunday night.
HERE WE GO.........

Michael's Children........

Prince Michael Jackson I , Paris Jackson and Prince Michael Jackson II, the children of the late pop star Michael Jackson, walk off stage during the memorial service for Michael Jackson at the Staples Center in Los Angeles, Tuesday, July 7, 2009.
I noticed that the children, were taking in all that was going on and really noticing the big screens. The smallest child, seem to be a bit overwhelmed and kept hiding behind someone or his memorial list. You can see that these children, were fathered by the same person, even though it wasn't Michael himself.

Will Los Angeles Pay ?

The Los Angeles city attorney's office is investigating how the city can legally press third parties to pick up at least some of the costs for Michael Jackson's memorial service at the Staples Center.

City attorney spokesman John Franklin said Wednesday that his office aims to have a report ready for the City Council by Friday.

More than 17,000 fans attended the pop star's public memorial service on Tuesday. The event is estimated to cost up to $4 million in overtime for hundreds of police officers and other services.

AEG Live, which owns the Staples Center, hasn't committed any money to cover the city's bill. Still running up debts even in death........how ironic!

AED

Automated External Defibrillator, is what the title is referring to. The AED can be for public or professional use, depending upon the nature of the situation. They say that these units are simply and easy to use, and have a 5 to 7 year warranty, with a 30 day money back guarantee. I noticed an AED Lifeline unit that has voice quality, which guides you through the whole rescue process. It has the step by step process and everything is convenient in the compact unit. For more information, contact this company and find out their prices with each unit.

I Wouldn't Pay A Thing.......

People are throwing their money in the hat trying to get seats to this memorial for Jackson. I wouldn't pay a cent to go to it, and wouldn't even consider going to one of his concerts, when he was alive. He wasn't my type of singer, and I suppose you would think me crude. Actually, my idea of him was crude and I really didn't enjoy his music the way everyone else did. Bringing up the other aspects of his personality and life wouldn't do any good. I don't really need to bash someone who did it to his own self. The era of his life, has come an gone with a great bang, just as Elvis's life. I often think that there will be another some day to replace these two singer's. To consider this a trend, will indeed be scary........

Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest

The contest began in 1916 to settle a bet among four men about being the most
patriotic. James Mullen ate 13 hot dogs in 10 minutes to win, and so began the most famous eating contest in the world.Village Voice: The (Hungry) Odd Couple of the Nathan's Hot-Dog-Eating Contest (July 2, 2008) In recent years, Japanese competitors have dominated the competition.
Takeru Kobayashi, known to fans as "The Tsunami," won six consecutive years in a row from 2001 through 2003OCE: Takeru Kobayashi Eater Profile, but was defeated in 2007 and 2008 by Joey Chestnut. Word has it that he won it again this year as well, by eating 68 hot dogs.

John Waynes' America

Another Country.........

Honduras' congressional leader Roberto Micheletti, whom Congress appointed President of Honduras on Sunday, speaks during an interview with the Associated Press in Tegucigalpa, Tuesday June 30, 2009. The U.N. General Assembly on Tuesday unanimously condemned the military coup in Honduras and demanded ousted President Manuel Zelaya's immediate return to power.
This country will pull the other countries into this damned thing. I for one am tired of our country trying to help all these countries, who don't give a damned about us, until they need help. It's always, some country wanting to cause an uprising or a take over. We've been in these things so long it's second nature to us to send our money to the other places.