Monday, January 10, 2011

Things To Ponder

Number 10
Life is sexually transmitted.


Number 9
Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.


Number 8
Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich .


Number 7
Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet and they won't

bother you for weeks.


Number 6
Some people are like a Slinky .. Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you

shove them down the stairs.


Number 5
Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.


Number 4
All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.


Number 3
Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?


Number 2
In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to

make it normal.


And The Number 1 Thought For 2011 :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in

America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located.

Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of Immigration?


" Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers

What you do today, might Burn Your Ass Tomorrow!

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