Ideas?

A friend emailed this to me and it was so witty, I had to share it with you........
AMAZING SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES


1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY
GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.

2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET
SEAT BY USING THE SINK.

3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS
SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS
REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A
TIMER.

4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK
WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP
AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.

5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN YOU'LL BE
AFRAID TO COUGH.

6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40
AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT DOESN'T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE
WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT
TAPE.

7. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE
GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

DAILY THOUGHT:SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT THEY BRING
A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS.